Happy Dan's Twelve Step Plan to a Memorable Birthday Celebration

Step    1:  Make It Fun!

Step    3:  Pick a Theme!

Step    5:  Select the Party Location!

Step    7:  Set the Date!

Step    9:  Send the Invitations!

Step    2:  Keep It Personal!

Step    4:  Recruit the Family!

Step    6:  Reserve the Entertainment!

Step    8:  Prepare the Guest List!

Step 10:  Gather the Supplies!

                                                               Are Birthdays Really Important?

What ever so special time of year, your child’s birthday is rapidly approaching and you’re at a loss.  We hope that this handy party planning guide offers some useful tips.  We want you to be able to kick back and enjoy adding some of the most wonderful memories of your life.

 The birthday party planning process is a wonderful opportunity to bond with your children.  It is also the perfect time to begin teaching your children, no matter how young, the styles, obligations and etiquette of hosting a social function.  The planning process encourages each child to weigh options, make informed choices, explore budgeting and learn sound social behavior.  What we’re suggesting is to make each party a full family project.

 STEP 1 – MAKE IT FUN!  Memorize this first step and refer back to it often as the date approaches.  You’re planning a child’s party…not an international peace conference.  The world really isn’t going to end if a game falls flat or the cake comes out hot pink instead of NASCAR Red.  The kids will certainly be having too much fun to notice.  Concentrate on having fun and building wonderful memories.

 STEP 2 – Keep it Personal!  Don’t allow your busy schedule to get in the way of your personal involvement with your child’s party.  Nothing says “I Love You” louder than giving your children the close personal attention they crave.  Don’t think that using a professional party planning service will carry the same impact.  You may end up with the perfect social event of the season, but your child may only see that you didn’t have time for him or her.  Give your child the most precious gift you possess…your time…before the opportunity passes you by. 

STEP 3 – Pick a Theme!  Sit down and discuss potential themes with your child.  Does the child have a specific all-consuming interest?  Some examples that come to mind are famous Disney characters, Pokemon, super heroes, pirates, jungle fantasies, dress-up and princess-for-a-day.  Encourage your child to use their creativity to invent their own.  Visit http://www.birthdayexpress.com for great birthday theme packages delivered direct to your door!

 STEP 4 – Recruit the Family!  Siblings, younger and older, often feel left out at these parties.  Include them in the planning process and encourage them to contribute their ideas and creativity.  Allow the older siblings to invite a special friend and enlist them both as waiters, guest greeters or game coordinators.  Enlist younger siblings as “Keeper of the Gifts” or “Guardian of the Cake” with an appropriate cardboard and foil medallion attached to a neck ribbon denoting the high official duty.  Assign siblings the task of selecting the perfect birthday gift or designing the ideal birthday cake or party décor.  Keep in mind that birthdays are a celebration of the family!

 STEP 5 – Select a Party Location!  Now, ask yourself…do you really want 12 4-year-olds drinking grape drink over your family room’s new plush carpet?  If weather permits, outdoor parties are the best for younger children.  Try to keep outdoor parties in the shade.  Local parks offer picnic shelters and park houses that are perfect for parties at minimal cost.  Look to indoor ideas like your family room with refreshments restricted to the dining room table if weather is poor.  This might be a great time for Dad to clean out the garage or workshop.  Check with your church or city recreation department for the availability of indoor facilities at affordable prices.  If you prefer a more catered affair away from home, try a storefront party site like Bullwinkle’s, Best Wishes or The Party Machine.  Be sure to check the availability of the room or service for the dates you’re considering and reserve the facility in writing well in advance.

 STEP 6 – Reserve the Entertainment!  Reserve early if you’re planning on hiring live entertainment, a moon bounce, pony rides or a cotton candy machine for the party.  The most reliable and skilled services are often booked weeks in advance.  If you have a particular service or entertainer in mind, you may have to adjust your date or time to fit a busy entertainer’s schedule.  A good rule of thumb is to reserve entertainment at least 4-6 weeks in advance.  A professional entertainer can be a bit expensive, but the best ones add a special glow to your party.  This is a feature that Uncle Billy in a red nose and rainbow wig just can’t match. 

 Rely on word of mouth from friends and family to find the best entertainers.  References will help, but don’t expect the entertainer to give you anything but the most glowing responses to his or her work.  If you have no referral, ask the entertainer for an audition video or if he or she is appearing anywhere that you might be able to watch them perform before confirming your event. 

 You should also ask for specifics regarding the service.  Will the entertainer stay for the entire party or just 30-40 minutes?  What services does he or she provide for the fee?  Please keep in mind that the best children’s entertainers are generally sole operators…that is, they can’t be reached through booking agents or “entertainment groups”.  As sole operators and human beings, they are prone to illness and accidents.  Will your entertainer promise to find a suitable and equal replacement in writing at no additional cost to you if he or she can’t make the party for any reason?  Veteran children’s entertainer, Roger Way, with his character Happy Dan the Magic Man at (919) 272-6465, offers all of these guarantees and more.

 A NOTE ON LIVE ENTERTAINMENT ETIQUETTE – All too often, the professional entertainer is tasked as chief babysitter and child care specialist.  Remember that the entertainer is there as a source of laughter…not discipline.  Please stay available to provide a controlling influence over the children.  Ask adults to respect the children and the entertainer by keeping their conversations low and away from the entertainment spot.  All too often unintentional adult chatter in the background diminishes the impact of the entertainment.  Children learn respect for others through observation.

 A NOTE ON LIVE ANIMAL & INFLATABLE AMUSEMENTS – Pony rides and inflatable rentals, such as moon bounces and slides, are plentiful and relatively affordable for private parties.  For your protection, always ask for documented proof of liability insurance coverage and city or state licensing.  The rental agency should provide you with a valid copy of their insurance coverage.  Liability coverage starting at $1,000,000 per incident is the industry standard.  If the agency is not insured or cannot provide you with proof of insurance and licensing, you may find yourself personally liable for any injuries or fines resulting from the use of the animals or the inflatable.  Hiring a dedicated professional may cost a bit more, but the peace of mind that comes from their experience and concern is worth it.  If you’re looking for a quality and reliable supplier, we highly recommend Zoe & Friends at (919) 481-1166.

 STEP 7 – Set the Date!  Once you have the vital reservations resolved, you can confirm the date and time of your party.  Plan the party on a date that is convenient to your family’s schedule.  Weekends are better if you are asking for help from others.  Don’t worry about hosting the party on the actual birth date.  Parents tend to worry about this much more than the children.  Check, as much as possible, to be sure that no major events, such as state or local fairs, festivals, major sports events, etc, are happening in the vicinity of your party.  One party we were invited to was hosted on the UNC campus in Chapel Hill…at the same date and time as the annual UNC-NC State rivalry football game at the UNC stadium.  Traffic was backed up on I-40 for miles and everyone, including the guest of honor, was over two hours late arriving.

 STEP 8 – Prepare the Guest List!  Ask your child whom they want to invite.  Keep in mind that supervision is largely your responsibility as the hosting adult.  Don’t let that list get too large unless you know you will have the support to handle the larger group.  The “experts” recommend inviting one guest for each year in the child’s age plus one.  For example, for a 5-year-old’s party, invite six guests.  Be sure to include at least one adult or parent for every three children younger than 5 years.

 STEP 9 – Send the Invitations!  Invitations can be store bought or handmade.  If each guest has internet access, you can send great free electronic invitations through www.hallmark.com.  With the growth in popularity of home publishing software like PrintMaster or Print Shop, you and your child can design great personalized invitations right at home.  The key is to be creative and have fun!  Send invitations at least two to three weeks in advance of the party date.  Any earlier and the invitations are likely to be lost or forgotten.  Any later and parents may have already made conflicting plans.  It is always wise to include an R.S.V.P. date at least one week prior to the party date.  Include a telephone number to simplify R.S.V.P. responses.

 STEP 10 – Gather the Supplies!  Sit down and make a list of everything you want or need to compliment your theme.  A few of these items might include:

Birthday Cake or Cupcakes – How many guests will you be entertaining?  Your average round birthday cake will feed 10-12 guests.  A flat sheet cake will feed approximately one guest for every 2-3 square inches.  Cupcakes save the mess and bother of cutting and distributing a larger cake.  Baskin Robbins, Carvel and Dairy Queen all offer delicious ice cream cakes that make a delicious alternative.  Whatever your choice, order your cake at least two weeks before the event…especially if you want a special size or unique design.  If the bakery doesn’t deliver, plan ahead to have a family member or friend pick the cake up on party day.  You’re going to be busy.  Be sure the bakery will be open on the day you plan to pick up the cake. 

Room Decorations – Will you need streamers for the ceiling and doorway?  Pick two theme colors and center your decorations on these colors.  The party website at www.1800partyconsultant.com hosts a wide assortment of party decorations and theme packages as well as party tips and suggestions.

Balloons – Balloons, either air or helium, are a great addition to any party.  Try tying a helium balloon to each chair at the party table or to each party bag.  This way, each child knows he or she will have a balloon to carry home after the party.  Stick to your main theme colors.  This way you won’t have children fighting over a specific color…and you, quite naturally only have one in that color. 

When you order helium balloons, plan on having them delivered or pick them up as close to the party time as possible.  Helium balloons generally lose their buoyancy within 6-8 hours of being inflated.  If your balloon-supplier uses a latex sealant called Hi-Float, the balloons can stay aloft for up to a week.  However, most balloon suppliers have stopped using Hi-Float for liability reasons.  People inhale the liquid latex sealant while sucking helium from balloons…a practice that is dangerous in itself. 

If you are transporting the helium balloons yourself remember that helium expands in the heat and contracts in the cold.  If it’s a hot day, remind the supplier to under inflate each balloon by 10% to limit breakage.  This will give the helium room to expand without bursting on the way home.  Always buy two or three more balloons than you need…just in case one or two escape or break on the way home.

SAFETY NOTES REGARDING BALLOONS - For the safety of party guests under the age of three, please avoid balloons or keep them high and out of reach without direct supervision.  Choking on a broken balloon is a very real threat.  If you must have balloons around the younger guests, try to avoid flesh tone and dark colors like red, pink, dark green, black, brown, and clear.  Stick to brighter colors like orange, yellow, bright green and white.  Brighter colors will appeal to the younger children and are more readily visible to an EMT’s probe should the worst happen. 

 If you’re planning a balloon release, wherein helium balloons are allowed to fly away, check your local laws first.  Some areas prohibit balloon releases for environmental or safety reasons.  Avoid releasing metallic Mylar balloons or using metallic ribbon or wires on balloons to be released.  These balloons and ribbons may conduct electricity if they come into contact with power lines or transformers.  Local laws require Mylar balloons to be anchored with appropriate weights at all times.  Watch younger children around electrical sources such as lamps, fans and outlets with Mylar balloons and metallic ribbons.

Table Decorations – Paper table coverings are a great idea for younger parties.  You can either buy a themed package from a party or paper goods store or design your own using rolled butcher’s paper.  Design your own centerpiece, tableware, napkins, party hats and favors with a construction paper, glue sticks and crayons.  Use your imagination.  Instead of buying…use things from around the house.  Toys, color pages, books and cut-outs make great decorations.  Many wonderful websites and books exist on creating your own party theme.  Check your local library or bookstore for a copy of The Penny Whistle Birthday Party Book by Meredith Brokaw and Annie Gilbar.  If they don’t carry it, strongly suggest that they should.

Nametags – With today’s computer programs, designing party favors and nametags has never been easier.  Nametags make it easier for you and your helpers to identify each child by name.  It’s easier for children and parents who may not know one another to feel more at ease.  Try this icebreaker game:  Print or mark one of six different colored dots on each nametag…two or three different color dots per tag with each tag being a little different.  Put one color on each side of a pair of dice.  Throw the dice and announce the two colors showing.  The children with the color on the first die must find the children with the colors showing on the second die and hold hands. 

Games – Internet sites abound featuring fun “everybody wins” party games. Use your favorite search engine, like www.Google.com to locate these sites by searching for Party Games, Indoor Games and Outdoor Games.  You can also find great books at your local library.

Candles & Lighter - Believe it or not, this is the most overlooked item on the list.  Candles and a lighter are such a no-brainer that people put them off to last...and forget them.  Consider using a single number candle rather than multiple candles on your  cake.  This makes lighting easier and the birthday wish a breeze.  Also, try using one of the long-nose butane wand lighters to ignite the candles.  It makes lighting easier and avoids scorched mommy fingers. 

In this day of ultra health-conscious parents, we've heard repeated concerns over the spray from the birthday wish blow.  Try laying a single layer of kitchen clear wrap loosely over the top of your cake. Poke  small holes for the candles.  Your cake design is still visible and all of the mothers will applaud your creativity in showing concern for their children.  Be careful to use inflammable clear wrap, such as Glad Cling Wrap. Check the box for flammable warnings!

Film, Camera & Batteries – Be sure to have plenty of film, video tapes, memory sticks or whatever your camera uses.  Keep extra batteries on hand, just in case.  Recharge your video batteries the day before the party.  Keep a copy of the birthday guest list with first and last names to make it easier to label each photo for your child’s keepsake scrapbook…and to remember who was who when you and your grandchild browse the scrapbook years from now.  If you expect to be kept busy hosting, assign the duty of “Official Photographer” to a willing adult or older sibling. 

You might want to create a simple comedy pose board in your party theme.  Use a stiff piece of cardboard and cut a hole large enough for a child’s head to poke through.  Below the head, draw and paint a picture of a birthday clown, cowboy, spaceman or ballerina…whatever compliments your theme. If you can't paint, find a black & white line picture or clipart item that suits your needs and take it to Kinko's or Office Depot for enlargement.  Either you or the children can color or paint the picture before the photos.  Paint “Billy’s 8^th Birthday Party – 2004” on the front of the board…personalized to your child, of course.  Take a photo of each child posing with the board.  Send the developed photo along with your thank you notes as a nice keepsake.  Remember to keep a copy of each photo for your party scrapbook.

Piñatas – Piñatas are fun for any party!  But, traditional piñatas are the second most common cause of injuries at birthday parties. You should plan on providing close parental supervision all through the excitement.  Many a Dad has met a disastrous fate holding the piñata at arm’s length on a rod or broomstick.  Hang the piñata from a thick stable tree limb, swing set frame or similar sturdy support.  Do not hang the piñata from an overhead fan, common plant hook, rain gutter or thin branch.  These may not withstand the pressure applied to the piñata.  Use a good strong twine or rope to secure the piñata. 

Poke a couple of holes through the side of the piñata and run the cord through for extra strength...the greatest weakness of many piñatas is the single hook attached to the rope.   Draw a “Safety Line” behind the piñata swing point at least three times the length of the piñata bat.  Assign an adult or older sibling to insure that all of the children remain behind this line while a child is swinging.  Be ready to step in and safely grab the bat the instant the piñata breaks to avoid hitting children rushing to grab the spilled candy. 

Most piñatas are designed to withstand the swings of teens and adults.  To make the piñata easier for younger children to break, run a web of light scores with a single-edged razor blade or Exacto knife from the top of the piñata to the base.  Slightly score the surface of the piñata without cutting all the way through.  This makes the piñata more vulnerable to a younger child’s light swing without ruining the fun. 

For those parents looking for a less violent piñata, some innovative chap has invented one with a number of ribbons strung along the bottom.  One ribbon pulls open a trap door releasing the inner treasure.  The other ribbons are all dummies that simply come off in the child’s hand.  The children take turns choosing a ribbon and pulling.  This new piñata is much safer and just as much fun as the breakaway units.  If you want to delay the opening as long as possible…locate the trigger ribbon by looking for a ribbon tied directly to the bottom flap.  Roll it up and tuck it just inside the flap.  The children can pull freely until you’re ready to let the birthday child have the honor of “busting the piñata.  Casually pull the trigger ribbon down while “adjusting the piñata” and let the birthday child have a pull.  Another option is to give every child a couple of ribbons...including the trigger ribbon... and everyone pulls at once!

For a change, try a traditional Korean piñata.  Buy a large, stiff plastic beach-size ball that will hold it's shape when deflated.  Cut the ball in half.  Fill the ball with candy & treats and loosely tape it back together.  Decorate the ball with strips of colored paper and ribbons and hang it from a tree branch or swing set with a sturdy cord tied through two holes in the top. Give the children semi-soft balls such as dodge balls or tennis balls to throw at the piñata at will...preferably from the same safe direction towards an open field or a blank wall or fence. No Windows!  Keep throwing the balls at the piñata ball until it splits open and spills the delights inside!

Concerned about putting candy in a piñata?  Load it with little balloons, tattoos, penny toys and sugar-free delights.  One innovative mother loaded the piñata with treasure maps loaded in pink and blue plastic eggs with each child’s name written on the outside.  Each map led the children on a personal treasure hunt to their personal party bag…located around the front of the house.  This avoids the common “He got more candy than I did!” complaint and what a great way to end a party!

Another suggestion: Instead of loose candy and toys resulting in a smash-&-grab free-for-all; place an equal amount of candy and toys in small individual party bags.  Tie the bags off with ribbon and place these in the piñata.  Now when the piñata breaks, every child picks up one bag.  Let the kids know before the first swing that each child gets one prize bag.  No more disappointed shy or little ones who can't fight their way into the center of the brawl! 

Party Bags - Party bags are a great way of thanking your guests for coming to the party.  Don't go overboard...it really is the thought that counts here.  Consider the age of your guests and purchase appropriate puzzles, finger toys, booklets or similar little items to place into small colorful bags.  Try to avoid choking hazard toys,  Your guests may be over the choking danger age, but they may have younger siblings at home. 

Party City and popular Dollar stores carry a great variety of inexpensive party favors.  These stores can be found in most major Carolina & Virginia cities.  Check your local listings.  You can also order themed favors from www.birthdayexpress.com, www.orientalexpress.com  or www.smalltoys.com.  We recommend that the hosting parent and the birthday child stand at the door and hand a party bag to each guest as they leave.  The parent thanks the adult and the birthday child thanks the younger guest.  This example teaches each child a valuable lesson in social etiquette.

 STEP 11 – Plan the Day!  This is where you envision the way you want your party to progress…and plan for the worst case scenarios…just in case.  Most parties occur in five stages:  Early Arrival, High Energy, Calming Period, Departure and Closure.

Stage 1 – Early Arrivals – You will usually have one or two children who will arrive ahead of schedule.  Have a craft table set up so they can color a party page, design their own party hat, decorate their nametag, make Play Dough characters as centerpieces, sign and decorate a birthday banner, or design individual cards for the birthday child.  Create a homemade guest book from construction paper, cloth-covered cardboard and yarn…then have each guest sign and decorate their own keepsake page for the book.  These books will become a great source of memories in years to come.  Family Fun Magazine is always full of great party and craft ideas.  You can find them at www.familyfun.com.  Consider setting a video camera on a secure tripod and allow each child to leave a short video message for the birthday child.

Stage 2 – High Energy – You should plan on starting the entertainment and activities around 15 minutes after the scheduled arrival time.  This gives any late arrivals a chance to join the party without missing the fun.  This should be a high energy, fun period.  It’s the perfect spot for a spirited entertainer who gets the children involved in acting out and cheering.  Active games like Centipede Tag, Freeze Tag and Hide & Seek are also ideal.  Avoid games at this point that have the children standing lines or waiting for turns.  Save these games for the calming period.  Another great idea for younger children is play-along songs like Hokey Pokey, Chicken Dance and the Bunny Hop.  Put all that energy to work early in the party to avoid restlessness at the cake table and gift opening.

Stage 3 – Calming Period – Eventually, you’ll reach a point (generally 45 minutes into the party) where you’ll want the children to start calming.  After all…we all want the children to enjoy their cake and ice cream…not wear it home.  Create a transition between the high energy and the calming periods with a birthday parade.  Line the children up behind the birthday child and let them choose imaginary band instruments…don’t forget the piano and the kazoo!  Let the children use that final burst of energy as they follow the birthday child in a twisting parade around the yard or through the house playing a lively “Happy Birthday” on their instruments!  After a few minutes, lead the parade to the birthday table for cake and ice cream. 

Some parents choose to open gifts at the party…others choose to wait until after everyone is gone.  Either is correct and subject only to your time and party goals.  If you choose to open the gifts during the party,  decorate a chair as a "Party Throne" for the birthday child.  Make it as special as possible.  Next to this throne, place a smaller and more simply decorated chair or stool. One by one have each child collect the gift he or she brought and present it while sitting in the smaller adjacent chair.  This makes it easier for the birthday child to thank each guest. It's also simplifies the task of keeping an accurate list of which child gave which gift for later “Thank You” cards.  Assign this list duty to another adult or older sibling so that you can focus on the children.

 Stage 4 – Departure – No one wants a fun party to end.  A piñata treasure hunt is a great way to signal the close of your party.  When the piñata breaks, each child finds a plastic egg with their name on it.  Inside each egg is a custom treasure clue sending the children in search of new clues scattered throughout the yard or (shudder) house.  For children who can’t yet read, clues can be made up of pictures cut from magazines showing various objects around the yard or house.  Each location yields a new clue or picture.  Eventually, all clues point to the front door where the birthday child waits to thank each guest and personally hand them a party bag and balloon.  When the guests are gone, the birthday child should personally thank and hand a small token gift to each family member and special guest (remember the sibling’s helper guests?) who helped make this day so special. 

 Stage 5 - Follow-Up – As soon as possible after the party, encourage your child to write personal thank you notes to each party guest for the gifts received.  If the child cannot write, encourage him or her to help you decorate and mail personal thank you notes.  Good manners are taught at home.  Sit down with the family immediately and discuss things that went wrong and ways to make the next party even better.  Make notes and store them away in the back of the party keepsake book for the next family celebration.

The Unexpected Stage – Stuff Happens – Have towels, mop or cleaning supplies handy for spills.  Keep a couple of spare items of clothing handy for the birthday boy or girl…for those last minute changes.  Be sure to clear the party area of sharp, rusted, fragile or hazardous objects…inquisitive hands wander into the oddest places.  Secure the gates to swimming pools so that little feet can’t wander in.  Stock a supply of brightly colored Band-Aids for those little scrapes, bruises and imaginary hurts.  Keep even the gentlest pets away from the party.  Large crowds and probing fingers can spook even the friendliest pet into reacting tragically.  Try to recruit enough adults to provide sufficient adult supervision.

 STEP 12 – Put It All Together!  The day has arrived!  The dog just chased the cat down the hall, tipping over the goldfish bowl spilling water into your grandmother’s piano.  The birthday girl just came in from the backyard with the cutest little drippy mud pies, a big smile on her face and a huge muddy smear down the front of her pink party dress.  And then…the doorbell! 

Take a moment to remember Step #1.  Take a deep breath…smile back at the party girl…and make this day a special one.  After all, you planned ahead for this…didn’t you?  Think of it as a great story to share at the next church social or family reunion!

Before you know it, you’ll be making college or wedding plans for your little ones.  Memories are too priceless to allow a mud pie or a water-logged piano to dampen them.  So, move forward and create a birthday that you and your child will laugh over and treasure forever!

 Are Birthdays important?  We certainly believe they are!  The Birthday Party celebrates a person’s presence among us and establishes the child’s great value within the family.  It’s a time to remember the joy we felt as we welcomed this new, little life into our own.  To deny the importance of this annual celebration is a blow that can seriously harm a child’s self esteem and sense of family. 

That said…does it have to be an elaborate and expensive affair?  Heck no!  Any event that places a child (or parent) in the center of the familial universe for even a day helps to build a solid sense of self worth.  Supporting this day for other members of the family builds the child’s sense of family.  It can be something as simple as a family meal where the birthday member chooses the entire menu and sits at the “position of honor” at the head of the table…a reminder that they, too, will one day lead a family.  Remember to include yourselves, the parents, in these celebrations.  There are few greater honors or stronger bonds for a child than planning and hosting a birthday celebration for a cherished parent. 

Treasure the Child!